Watch it oldies. This watch isn’t for you.

Watch it oldies. This watch isn’t for you.

Are you young, sexy, and adventurous? No, me neither. It’s OK. Grab a hot chocolate, put your slippers and glasses on… and read on.

Guess Watches has released watches (well, yeah) powered by Android Wear, Google’s smartwatch platform, to their Guess Connect wearable tech timepiece category, available late 2017.

The global fashion powerhouse says, with no hint of irony, it “recognises the importance of providing smart, hi-tech value on the wrists of their young, sexy, and adventurous consumers”.

At this point it could be possible to riff for ages on the 1976 American science fiction film ‘Logan’s Run’ where “life must end at the age of 30”. An interesting idea… which would also put Werther’s Originals out of business.

Guess says its new timepieces are powered by the Qualcomm Snapdragon Wear 2100 processor, and works with both iOS and Android smartphones.

The rest of the firm’s press release isn’t really relevant for fintech but for the “fashionista”.

Over to your Guess. Do your worst. The firm states a “signature Guess watch style becomes the canvas for consumers to control their own creation. With a simple swipe, our Guess girl has a casual look for the day and glitzed out style for night. For the Guess guy who wants to be active while looking attractive, fitness apps can be personalised to achieve daily goals. Customisation continues with a collection of trendy interchangeable straps to compliment dial choices”.

Do I want another press release from Guess? Take a guess.