Satire


UK start-up secures inevitable Hollywood movie sequel

With unerring predictability, the Hollywood movie machine has churned out a sequel for the energetic and eventful life story of a UK-based payments start-up. As reported in May, the rise of Charon Ferries, the creation of the husband and wife team of Michelle and Mark Morrison (who have defied all known laws of the universe […]

Journalist refuses to leave fintech conference

For probably the first time in the generic and platitude-drenched world of fintech, a journalist is refusing to leave a conference. In the charming city of Amsterdam, at the end of the inaugural four-day show “If You’re API And You Know It, Keep It to Yourself for Once – 2017”; delegates, security and organisers were […]

Fintech firms unrelated to acquisition offer running commentary

For reasons that probably lie in the lack of a marketing and sales budget, the acquisition of payments provider Bantam Banana (don’t ask) by fintech behemoth Moby Trick (founded by Merman Helville) has prompted a flurry of comments from companies that have sweet F.A. to do with the event. Financial terms of the acquisition were […]

“Game changer” Jargon Bank appoints sales director

The fintech world has been left breathless and bewitched by the stunning revelation that UK-based challenger Jargon Bank has appointed a sales director. As reported last year, the “game changer” bank launched offering “compelling and innovative” products. This was followed in February with a payments app update; an office move in March; and a cat […]

Dentist unveils payments start-up for millennials

It’s not enough for the fintech world to be sick to the back teeth of the “millennials would rather visit their dentist than listen to their bank” quote – but we now have yet another UK payments start-up – this time launched by an actual dentist. On the dirt-encrusted and pothole-festooned streets of the UK, […]

Fintech billionaire wolf whistles during meeting to address sexism

The career of an elderly billionaire lies in tatters after he decided that a meeting to address sexism in the fintech industry was the right time to wolf whistle at the crowd and boast about his sexual exploits. David Blooperman, CEO and founder of identity and internet of things service provider ID-IOT, was invited to […]

Cat fools bank’s voice biometric system

A UK bank has been left with its tail between its legs after its “state-of-the-art and highly secure” voice biometric system was bypassed by a cat. “Game changer” Jargon Bank, which launched last year (and updated its app and moved office), is reeling from the feline fraudster and the media wants answers. And boy does […]

UK start-up success story becomes Hollywood movie

The glorious rags to riches tale of a UK start-up has caught the cold, beady eye of Hollywood and been transformed into a well-polished and formulaic movie. Charon Ferries, a London-based payments firm, is the brainchild of the husband and wife team of Mark and Michelle Morrison. (Recently married, and still happy. Give it a […]

Deputy editor replaced by robot

Banking Technology’s deputy editor, Antony Peyton, has been replaced by an artificial intelligence (AI) powered robot – paving the way for scintillating journalism free from acidic remarks and unfettered bouts of sarcasm. With the relentless rise of AI and robots, it was only a matter of time before a journalist would be thrown on the […]